Is that truly a need? Warding off Consumerism

Understanding the difference between needs and wants is one of the most valuable lessons parents can teach their children. Defining the terms, that’s only the beginning. The conversation we have with our children is about giving them a lens through which to view their financial choices, recognizing the influence of consumerism, and prioritizing what truly matters. By guiding children and teens to distinguish between their basic needs and their desires, parents can help them develop financial discipline. We all want them to avoid unnecessary spending and build a healthy perspective on money right?

This is a simple conversation. A need is something essential for living. Think of things like food, shelter, clothing, and transportation. A want, on the other hand, is something we desire but can live without. However, the line between needs and wants isn’t always black and white. For instance:

• Clothing: Clothes are a need, but the decision between a $80 pair of Nike sneakers versus $200 Jordan brand sneaker turns it into a want. Both serve the same purpose, but one adds the layer of status or style that shifts it out of the “need” category.
• Transportation: A car can be a need for commuting, but choosing between a basic model versus a high-end luxury vehicle like a Tesla leans into want territory.
• Electronics: A smartphone is often necessary for communication and schoolwork, but deciding between a functional phone and the latest iPhone Pro Max reflects the influence of consumerism.

Parents can use these examples amongst thousands of more to illustrate for their children how branding and social pressure can turn needs into wants disguised as needs. It’s a matter of tailoring the lessons for the child’s age. For younger children, focus on concrete examples they encounter daily. Use food to demonstrate:

• A sandwich and a juice box are needs, but a Happy Meal with a toy might be a want.
• Plain cereal meets the need for breakfast, while sugary branded cereals like Lucky Charms might be more about preference.

As children grow older, introduce more nuanced examples:

• Pre-teens and Teens: Discuss clothing brands like Levi’s versus Louis Vuitton or basic sports equipment versus professional-grade gear.
• Driving Teens: Talk about car choices, emphasizing that a used, reliable car meets the need for transportation, while a flashy sports car is more about impressing peers.
• Older Teens: Bring in financial services, such as the difference between saving in a basic bank account (need) and investing in trendy but high-risk stocks without a plan (want).

Parents can make these lessons part of everyday conversations. For example:

• Back-to-School Shopping: Set a budget and discuss the difference between a pair of high-priced designer jeans and more affordable ones. Show how choosing the latter might leave room for purchasing additional items instead of crushing the budget with one item.
• Holiday Gifts: Ask your child to reflect on what they truly need versus what they want. Discuss how marketing influences their desires.
• Grocery Shopping: Let them compare prices and brands. Discuss why some items are more expensive due to packaging, branding, or marketing, even when the generic version is just as good.

Helping kids identify needs versus wants isn’t all about budgeting, it’s about resisting the societal pressure to spend for status. I recall one of my children telling me years ago they could only be seen with an iPhone amongst their peers and an Android would have them ostracized. Let’s just say she didn’t have a phone for a while when we couldn’t come to a compromise. I understood her sentiment because the latest fashion, cars, and gadgets can feel like a “need” in a consumer-driven world. Most times we think we need the item, but it is more about how it makes us feel to be included. As I learned, the conversation with children can be a tedious and difficult one, but very necessary. Teach children to ask themselves:

• Do I need this to function or succeed?
• Would a less expensive option fulfill the same purpose?
• Am I buying this to impress others or because it genuinely adds value to my life?

By fostering this introspection, kids can learn to value functionality over flashiness. Hopefully!

Understanding the difference between needs and wants is more than about managing money. It’s about building self-awareness and accountability. Money is worth having if you have the right character to use it properly. This lesson encourages kids to reflect on their choices and motivations. They learn to ask themselves tough but valuable questions, like: Am I choosing this because it’s necessary, or am I chasing a brand or social status?

However, what if your child insists on high-end items and struggles to accept that their desires are more about wants than needs? Use this as an opportunity to deepen the conversation. Ask them to research and present why they think the high-end item is worth the extra cost. Compare its functionality with a more affordable option together. Encourage them to consider the long-term trade-offs. What else could they achieve if they saved the difference? This approach shifts the focus from a simple “no” to helping them evaluate their priorities critically.

If they still feel strongly about a high-end item, you can empower them to take ownership of the decision. Encourage them to save up or earn the money to cover the difference between their basic needs and the upgraded want. This helps them appreciate the item’s value and instills a sense of responsibility to have a stake in the purchase. These moments of self-reflection and accountability can help your child develop a healthy, thoughtful, and disciplined relationship with money that will benefit them, if not today, one day.